Reclaim Yourself From Burnout And Love You And Life Again
Whether you're burnout or not, in today's modern world, it's hard to imagine a state of being, that isn't emotionally and/or physically exhausting. I write this article, understanding where you are, as I've been there myself and whilst you may not feel it right now, I am happy to share, there is such a thing as balance and you too can achieve it. In this article I'm going to share what burnout is, why is happens and most of all provide you with the steps to a balanced, purposeful and energetic you.
What is burnout
Burnout is a form of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion
caused by constantly feeling swamped, overwhelmed, or like a light switch, constantly turned on. The things you once enjoyed, no longer have meaning, you lack motivation, your self esteem depleated, you no longer take care of your mental and physical wellness, you feel hopeless, you isolate yourself from the world, lost in a loud mind but physically numb. You're tired but can't sleep, because your mind is busy thinking of the things needing to be done today, tomorrow, next month!
Burnout is a common and serious problem in todays world of work and technology. The expectations on us is far greater, we are reachable almost anywhere at anytime. The times of yesteryear, where families sat around the dining table connecting at dinner time are almost gone due to conflicting work schedules. The days of families living close by and having someone to mind the children, are no longer how modern families live. Being a stay at home mum, tending to home duties and raising the children, no longer financially viable. The world is moving faster, the material possessions people "have to have" increase stress and anxiety, the food in which we consume no longer grown in backyards and home cooked, as we move around our days quickly finding the drive thru or home delivery, it's making us sick, overweight, lethargic.
In order to determine the best balance between burnout and living a balanced life, we need to look at the difference between mental exhaustion and physical fatigue. Mental exhaustion is usally coming from an emotional stress like relationship breakdown, anxiety, depression, a trauma in life, among others, whilst physical fatigue is generally work overload, juggling home and children demands and other's that physically consume our day.
The best way to determine the difference is keep an accurate diary of our daily activities, we must be specific as this will tell us if it's mental exhaustion or physical fatigue.
So how do we live a balanced life that's sustainable, it's not easy, it takes conscious effort but the rewards are living your best life and it starts with you now.
1. The first step is taking care of you, irrespective of whether you are married, single, a mother, employee, boss, executive, YOU are the MOST IMPORTANT person in your life.. Yes You! This means taking time for things that are important to you, it also means taking care of your mind, body and soul.
One of the things I really enjoy doing, is dating myself, now this may sound crazy, but it's been the most enjoyable experiences I've had. I give myself one day a fortnight which may be starting at the local tavern enjoying a couple of wines sitting outside on the deck overlooking the ocean surrounded by buzzing happy people, talking to strangers, being present. I then stroll along the beach watching the waves roll in, the smell of the ocean, the sun on my skin, watching families building sandcastles, my mind present in where I am, thinking of nothing else as I slowly move along the path. I arrive at the movies, purchase my popcorn which I don't have to share, find the perfect seat for me and enjoy the movie I chose. Upon the movie finishing I walk the beach again toward home, the sun is going down, the sunset simply beautiful in it's colours. I arrive home, run myself a bath, add my favourite bath salts, light the candle and wash away any of life's negatives left on me. I feel amazing, I feel like me, not a mother, wife, employee, just me. What ever works for you, a hobby, playing sport, something that is ALL about you.
2. Learn that it's ok to say NO. As women, for some reason, we feel obligation to be everything to everyone else, prioritising their happiness above our own. We need to learn to set limitations which enables us to say no easier as we are need to prioritise what matter to us. Setting limits won't come naturally but it will be worth it and aid you in making better choices and avoid wasting valuable time on things that aren't important to you. By setting limitations you will have better focus and more energy for the things you like whilst maintaining healthy, happy relationships with those that matter to you.
3. Don't become the emotional dumping ground. We all have or have had those friends who ring or catch up and tell us all the things that are going wrong in their life. They ask for our opinion, which we give from the heart, but it's never used to assist and the conversation is finished with them saying, thanks so much "I Feel So Much Better Now I've Got That Off My Chest" and the same life drama goes around and around, over and over. I call this "emotional shit dumping" We want to be there for our friend but at what cost? See what is generally happening here is our emotional levels are becoming heightened by listening to our friends problems and our sincere want to help which begins weighing down on our shoulders, but they are feeling fantastic as they are shit dumping their life issues on your shoulders over and over and doing nothing about the actual issue. So please don't be the emotional dump. Of course be polite and listen the first time offering opinion or assistance but after that, It's back to #2 set your limitations.
4. Take regular breaks from work and connect with yourself through breathing, music or nature. Your lunch break is a "break" from work, so ensure you take it, your mind and body will thank you for it. There are loads of free apps that are perfect for just 10 minutes that aid you in reconnecting with self during your break and re-energising you for the afternoon ahead. Remember your boss does not own you, no laptops in bed, you are paid for so many hours work and let's be honest, should something happen to us, our vacant position to replace us would be posted online the next day.
5. Laugh - There are times in life to be serious and there's so many times to be fun, funny and laugh. Watch an old sitcom, go to a comedy show, whatever, wherever go and laugh, the benefits on your overall well-being are off the charts.
6. Turn off the News & Reality TV. Consciously inviting the news and reality TV into our minds is toxic to our energy levels, self esteem, perception of life and mental health. The news is filled with over dramatised negativity throughout the world that does not one thing to improve your well-being and hundreds of things to negativity affect it. Don't watch it, use that hour doing something mindful, peaceful, positive. Reality TV, I am sorry to inform you, is not REAL, it's low level, highly rated rubbish, that gives a false sense of what real life is. It's affects our self esteem, through comparing bodies, lifestyles, employment and so much more. It's scripted, heavily edited garbage that makes the organisations behind it wealthy and you wasting time binging it, being drawn in thinking it's the parts of life you are some how missing. Be the leading role in your REAL life by creating one that's purposeful and uniquely yours.
7. Catch up with friends, be social, have fun in girl time. Coffee catch ups, sunset wines, it's important to keep the you in your life no matter how many hats you were and it's so good for your soul.
8. Rest is so important to our bodies and our minds. Getting enough sleep can be difficult but getting regular sleep can be scheduled. To aid in falling asleep and keeping our minds quiet so our bodies can rest, a warm cup of herbal tea, a mindful affirmation app, yoga under the stars, our home energy mist, all will aid you in a restful nights sleep. Remember, it's important we stop watching electronic devices for atleast 30 - 45 minutes before we rest otherwise our minds will be in overdrive.
9. Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't put yourself through the stress of cleaning a home, that it's as perfect as a display home where no one lives. A home is the heart of who we are, where our memories are created, what our children remember. Laugh, have fun, celebrate life's wins, big or little, smile often, be thankful for what you have and enjoy the carpet ride of life, we only get one. Ignite that inner child, swing on the swing at the park, jump in puddles with your kids, dance like you can, even if you have two left feet, sing like you are about to release an album even if you are terrible, it doesn't matter. There are times in life we need to be serious and there's so many times we damn well don't have to be.
Live life, don't exist through it. You are important and were given a life to live, so please from my heart to yours, live your best life, your mind and body will sing so happily.